Clouseau.
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I ever heard that name..
..Clouseau was just a little nobody.
A policeofficer in some little village
far outside of Paris.
He was the village idiot
as far as I could tell.
Idiot, pull up.
Monsieur Dumont, you must
move your vehicle immediately.
I am so sorry, Officer Clouseau.
My chair, it won't move.
Here's your problem.
Your batterycable has come undone.
Let me help.
Let's see.
The positive to the negative.
The negative to the positive. There.
All right, you are ready to go.
All clear, keep it moving.
As chief inspector
Red queen casino. of the Police Nationale..
..I hear many stories
of our officers in the field.
Clouseau generated many..
..many stories.
You are under arrest
for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
You are under arrest
for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
You are under arrest
for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
Pierre Fuquet?
The case is closed.
Needless to say..
.. Clouseau did not qualify
for any advancement whatsoever.
I neverthought for a moment
I would have any use for him..
..until that fateful day.
It was a perfect day for a murder.
France against China, with the winner
advancing to the finals.
I had been invited, as chief inspector
of the Police Nationale.
And because of my recent nomination
for the Medal of Honor.
I have been nominatedseven times.
I have never won.
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But still, seven nominations..
..that's something.
Anyway, the coach of
the French team, Yves Gluant..
.. came out
for his customary ovation.
He raised his fist to the crowd.
On it:
The Pink Panther diamond.
It was quite the symbol of pride
and victory for the French team.
Gluant's girlfriend at that time..
.. was Xania,
the international pop star.
They had been having
quite a stormy affair.
By the end of regulation time
the score was tied..
.. and the game
went into sudden death.
For a patriotic Frenchman
and a true fan like myself..
.. it was almost
too thrilling to believe.
And then..
.. the miracle.
Yes! Yeah!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
And then, in front of a stadium
filled with people..
.. Gluant collapsed..
.. dead.
A poison dart in his neck.
And the Pink Panther diamond..
.. had disappeared.
The newspapers fed on
Gluant's murder with a frenzy.
For them, the world had stopped.
For me..
.. it was an opportunity
for my greatest triumph.
I know what we need
for the Gluant case.
- What?
- An incompetent.
An unimaginative, by-the-book,
low-level incompetent..
..who will plod along,
getting nowhere..
..with the media
watching his every step.
And while he is getting nowhere..
..I will put together the finest team
of investigators in France..
..and we will hunt down the killer,
retrieve the Pink Panther diamond..
..and then the Medal of Honor
will be mine.
And who is this incompetent?
Oh, I think I know
the perfect man for the job.
Find him and bring him to Paris.
His name is Clouseau.
Good morning, mademoiselle.
I'll be right with you.
The minister of justice sent around
a new picture of himself..
..but it was bigger than
Chief Inspector Dreyfus' picture.
So the chief inspector
had a larger one made.
You'll find that Paris
can be a very political place.
Yes, politics. Where greed
wears the mask of morality.
That's good. Did you say that?
Yes, I did.
- Could you help me down?
- Oh, yes, of course.
Oh, yes. Here, just.. Perhaps..
- Yes, l..
- All right.
- Wait.
- Yeah.
Don't jump. Yes, that's good.
Lucky and wild. All right.
I think if you put
your leg right there..
- Okay.
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- Yes. Okay.
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